Chase your story

In journalism, you’ll hear the phrase “chase your story”. Like. A lot. If you want to be the one. Front cover. Making a splashing difference. Chase. Your. Story. I turned 18 recently, and started wondering what story I was chasing. Where it was going to take me, what I would discover and learn as I traveled around. 

I've chased passions. Dancing, writing, hair, makeup, singing... I've chased pavement, chased horses around fields, chased goals and friendships. I've asked my mother over, and over, and over "who do you think I'm going to be? What am I going to be?" chasing solid answers, so I didn't have to wonder anymore.

The chasing was not pointless, because every part of my life has made me who I am, but I never truly chased. When I got scared, found roadblocks, made roadblocks, I'd sit down and give up. For a girl who has such a longing for spontaneity and adventure, I sure did play in the safe lines of life. Of course, I was a kiddo. I mean, I couldn't exactly take a risk and try to start my business at the age of 13. But I have recently noticed that I hide, even now.   I hide from myself, hide from others. I hide from my emotions and thoughts, trying to avoid thinking about what would happen if I ended up having to somewhere, without my mask on. 

I'm not talking makeup, when I talk about my mask. I'm talking, the obnoxious exuberance no one truly wants to be around. Its a lot easier to get rejected for being someone else, than it is for being yourself. You see, if someone didn't like the little facade I was playing, no big deal. I didn't really like that part of me anyways. 

I read this book, and the entire book summed up in a phrase was "Flora, be brave" which was tattooed to the inside of her wrist. I did not get a tattoo that said that, but its been running through my mind since I read the book. How do I expect myself to get places? How do I expect to get anywhere? I can't spend my whole life hiding from myself, cowering behind these walls. So recently, I've been taking chances. Speaking up, standing up. 

I was scared of doing a dancing competition, but I spoke up, and learned something about myself. I CAN choreograph a dance. Maybe not a first place, big trophy dance, but a dance none the less. I went a day without makeup. Maybe that seems small to a lot of people, but if you read my last blog post, you know that for me, its not. I said yes to singing at my church, and learned that there is a lot to learn! I spoke up about loving to write, and now I have this blog and a whole network of people who are excited to support me. 

I started saying "NO" to my fear. Why would I, with so much ambition, passion, and excitement, allow myself to be held down by the same thing I've been begging all of you to let go? Now I am chasing a story. A real story. I'm chasing bravery. Its a battle, every day. Its so much easier to just hide. To ignore that little voice inside of me saying "Georgia, be brave", but at the same time, the adrenaline rush I get from proving myself wrong is amazing. 

Its like I'm waking up a forever summer inside of me, and every day is full of a new adventure. Every day is filled with a new challenge. Will I be brave enough today? Will I be brave enough to confront unpredictability? Brave enough to take that first step into my tomorrow. I'm chasing college. Chasing friendships, chasing smiles and laughs. Chasing so much life I feel like I lost being afraid. 

Don't let fear of failure hold you back. Take a deep breath and jump. You're going to be okay. Failure seriously only exists the second you stop trying. Every slip up, every mistake, every bump. Its all learning, growing opportunities. Just keep  chasing your goal. You'll get in amazing shape and also feel amazing when you hit the finish line because you did not give up. You did it. You DID IT.  GO. YOU. 

Now lets celebrate. I think I just convinced myself to run a race in track, and I have the whole entire internet world to hold me accountable.