August 15, 2018, 7:00 AM

I throw my makeup and face wash into a back pack, close my bedroom door, grab my last bag,  and throw into the back of my car. My mom gives me a tight hug and whispers "I love you" in my ear,  Jake snaps a photo of me posing beside my Chevy Malibu, and we jump in the car together. My dad gives us the thumbs up from the truck, and I say goodbye to my house as it fades in my review mirror. 

Yo, I'm actually doing this. Like, it's not just a cute day dream or a plan I've been stressfuly working on for a year. I felt like I should be a little sad. My best friend was sitting in the passenger side of my car. Quietly. I know he was thinking. Change is hard. Growth hurts a little.

I drove to Spokane, already learning new things. Figuring out roads and learning how to trust my own abilities and be more confident in what I know. Roads taking me to my new home, only slightly familiar. Empty roads, soon to be filled with memory after memory. Driving in to  a blank town full of potential. Full of people I hadn't met. Friends, a job, college. The outlines were all there and I just had to color them in. 

Things were so incredibly different back then. That silly girl had a plan. I walked in to my new home, honestly thinking I had it figured out. Over the next year, I would learn over and over that my plans were not always God's plans, and that most the plans I had were going to be adjusted somehow...  that I had missed 90% of the details I thought I had figured out. 

 I ended up leaving school after two semesters, earning an award for my GPA. Which I am
really heckin proud of -- I never actually expected would happen. Me? A good student? Somebody call my poor high school history teacher, haha! 
 I got the opportunity to fall in love with a brand new family. I amtruly blessed that the Wisors so willingly accepted me in to their lives, and have continuously taken care of me and made me feel very loved in my time here in Spokane. I am proud to say that my best friend is 10 and can build an expert level Lego set in 4 hours. That's impressive. I learned a new appreciation for football, and even got brave enough to join in yelling at the TV once, but I yelled the wrong thing and I don't know if they remember but I will never forget.

I also learned that my dad is my hero.  Literally, I can't really count how many times my father has driven 10 hours to save me from a broken car. My car loved breaking, just around the time of finals! In the fall semester, my doors broke and wouldn't close. My battery died, and I couldn't get anywhere, having finals the next heckin day. My dad drove all night so he could fix my car and get me to finals on time.
On my birthday, I got in a fender bender, and my dad brought me new parts for my car and helped me fix it. We also had the best day, ever, just messing around in Spokane, and also bowling for the first time in forever!!! Seriously, my dad has rescued me more times than I can count, even
fixing my car when I came home and it practically fell apart! 


I have also learned to value my mother a lot more. Not that she wasn't already my favorite before I moved, but holy cow. Right after Billy left, I would sit in my car and cry to her over the phone about life's issues and she would listen and love me. She always has rock solid advice, even when I don't take it. She has been on the other line every time I was scared. When I had medical questions, she drove up for my doctors appts. She sends me home with eggs and baked goods. She absolutely never fails to make me feel better, making me laugh when I'm scared or stressed, and I swear, her patients never runs out.  I can be a bit dramatic (I know, shocked, right? Me? Dramatic?) and no matter how much I freak out, she will be right there when I need her, or want to apologize. I've never appreciated singing and dancing in the kitchen so much. Seriously, distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Honestly, I have just developed this whole new appreciation for home. I'm not gonna lie. I wanted OUT of Wallowa County. No thank you. I am done with small towns. Yet, I find myself missing the mountains. I miss dirt and real grass. I miss the smell of cow poop and dirt roads. I miss swamps and rolling fields. I miss the smell of fresh cut hay drifting through my window on a summer night. I miss looking up at the stars with my little brother, I miss changing pipe, even at 6 in the morning (that's sleeping-in compared to my life now) I miss mud on my face and jeans. I miss hearing animals make their animal noises. I  miss my small town. I miss it so heckin much. I never thought I would. I thought I was cut out for the city, I belonged in small sky rises. Turns out, I belong on the top of a mountain. Or in the freezing cold lake. I am shocked every day at the skill set that being a farm girl gave me. Not gonna lie, I felt like a total boss when the girls were squealing cause the lake water was cold and I was laughing cause it was so warm. 

The country made me so strong. Mentally, physically, I am a lot more prepared and capable than a lot of my co-workers just because of the environment I was raised in, and continue to be supported in. I have learned, more than anything, that I am totally not alone in this endeavor. A year ago, as I waved goodbye to my parents as they drove away, I figured I was alone. Completely alone. But this community built itself around me. Amazing people from church, from work, even my boyfriends family, whom I am truly and honestly just so blessed to have. 

I haven't really taken time to look back and reflect on how much I have grown in this year, but its crazy. I planned my very first trip across the country alone, paid for it, and rocked it. I have set up my own doctors appts and figured out my own insurance payments. My days start
at 3 AM and end at 7 PM and I can get in my 8 hours at work before noon, spending the rest of my time working on things like mowing the lawn.  I am a Sunday school teacher, and we are currently re-designing our entire program and classrooms. I volunteer on Tuesdays and I'm over here with my very own little life and... wow! Gosh I have not even looked back to see what all I have done but dang!! I'm doing it. I mean, I'm not 100% efficient, but I have a budget and I know how much a month I can spend on gas and food and other things, earning my own money. 

 I just applied for a passport because I am going on a mission to
Chile...
 Georgia a year ago never would have seen any of this coming. I was supposed to be working at Dutch Bros by my second week here, and six months later I was still jobless until a lunch date with a good friend went in a completely different direction than anticipated. 

Its been a really hard year, don't get me wrong. I learned fast, the hard
 way, but I never learned alone, and I honestly think that is the most important lesson. 

So to all the kids who are starting their last year of high school, starting their first year of college. Be open. Things will change. Its scary. Money is freaking hard to make and jobs are really hard to get. Don't be scared of hard work, always apply yourself, know your boundaries, and enjoy this crazy and terrifying first step. Sometimes, life will take you away from college. Don't be ashamed of starting in a community college, and trade schools are always a smart way to go. Your major will change. You will sometimes feel like there is seriously no point in any of this, but most of all. Take a second and look around. You have an entire team of people that you are building, daily. You are not alone. You never have been and you never will be. Do not be afraid. Be bold, stand up for whats right, and never. not ever, drive too close to someone else because you WILL get in a fender bender. Three second rule, people!!! Its a life saver (and a money saver)