InterNOT

251 HOURS, 28 MINUTES, AND 20 SECONDS TILL I GET ON A PLANE TO CHICAGO
 That's 10 days, 11 hours, 28 minutes, and 20 seconds.

Okay now that the most important part of this blog is over, lets talk about my "no social media cleanse"

I have actually noticed a huge difference. It is week three.

Before I started this journey, my phone was glued to me. I felt obligated to instantly text everyone back, and it never rang without me knowing. Which I think was part of the stress, I was constantly there for anyone who wanted to talk. I even had some people on a special list so they could call me after I went to bed and the call would still come through so I could talk to them if they needed. My phone charged by my bed, I was restless, and my days seemed to fly by without my knowing. I also got really bad headaches, which I found out from a little more research, comes from looking at a computer screen for long amounts of time!

I actually kind of have to still stare at a screen for long amounts of time due to homework, but I looked on Amazon and found a pair of *computer glasses* for cheep, and tried them out, and that has seriously helped!

Anyways, I was glued to my phone. The prospect of losing it made me panic, I felt the need to have cute Instagram photos at least once a week, I had to remember to snap like, 10 people every single day (people I don't even talk to) to keep my streaks going, which was a complete anxiety in its own, and the posts I saw on Facebook would sometimes leave me crying. 

There were, or course, benefits to social media though. I never knew how much I relied on it to communicate with people. I had to actually get some peoples phone numbers. Instead of just grabbing a classmates snap or Insta, I had to get their phone number (which doesn't have quick add) and it was awkward asking people for their phone numbers, because for some reason, in my age group, that's like taking your relationship to the next level. WHICH IS SO INSANE TO ME. I can't believe how people connect now a days! There are dating apps, and you can add mutual friends over Snapchat, and hundreds of people you've never met before follow your Instagram!

But yeah, even my little brother and I stopped having such good communication after I left social media.

Since putting the phone down, I have had the opportunity to work on my physical health more. Instead of scrolling through Instagram and Facebook and then Instagram again before bed, I stretch. I remind myself to drink some water. If I really feel like it, I do a little workout routine, and then I crawl into bed, my phone plugged in on the other side of the room.

When I go to relax, I can close my eyes and let my mind and body rest instead of looking for something interesting to happen on the internet. My news source has been more than Instagram or Facebook, or even Youtube.

I even changed my music taste. I don't know if that is related or not, but I am listening to a LOT of country music. I used to listen to rap and pop and R&B but now I just listen to a lot of country, or music with really deep meaning, like Mat Kearney, Phillip Phillips, and Snow Patrol, just to list a few. Its a lot more stimulating and comfortable I guess. My heart isn't constantly racing, but if I want to have a cleaning party or something (which I do a lot) I can turn it up and still feel the way it felt to go flying down the road with Jacob in a summer day, headed to the lake. Or even just singing in the truck with William, or milkshakes with my dad.

I'm reading my bible more, AND I EVEN FORGET MY PHONE. Yes, you read that correctly. I leave it places and then I forget where I put it and its an hour later and I'm like "oh yeah I'm superposed to text this person back about dinner tonight"
I don't feel completely obligated to responding to texts the second they come through. Heck, even my workouts are better because I am not constantly checking to see if anyone snapped me back. My homework is easier to finish because I am not distracted, and I have found myself more stimulated by my own thoughts or the world around me. I have been way more inspired, thinking of things every day.

Its like the great awakening is happening in my brain. Maybe my phone had it in sleep mode.

Sup, Blog

Heyyy blog. Whats up its your girl Georgia

Some of you are probably like "yay! shes back!"
Some of you might be like "Wait, she was gone?"
Others even might be like "wow. you made it a week."

Well, let me tell you. I am not back! Still no social media, except to promote my blog. In my week away though, I realized something really important.

Not every kid can sit down and have a conversation with the world, and furthermore,

Not every kid can sit down and have a conversation with the world about all of their vulnerabilities and weaknesses.

I was sitting in the library with my friend, Zack today (he is very good at not being on his phone while talking to other people) and we were kinda just tossing life experiences and dreams and current ambitions around. My blog got brought up, and he asked me what it was about and I explained to him that I kinda just talked about my struggles and triumphs. I told him that I use my life experiences to give others hope, like using your vulnerabilities as a strength. He gave me this look. It was kinda funny, not going to lie. Hes like "I've never heard anybody say that before"

My mom used to tell me she wanted to call me "shock and awe". I have no idea if (in this context) it was a good thing or not, but my little brain was like "wow that is the best thing to be, EVER"

I love shocking people. That's why I don't mind being underestimated, I think. Its also maybe why I love making dramatic changes to myself. I don't want to be boring. I want people to look at me and think "what is so different about her" Because we are all living the same life, but mine seems like so much of an adventure.

In this same conversation with Zack, I was talking about the adventures my brother and I used to have, and even the adventures I have alone. He seemed so intrigued in my stories. Who knew that walking down a dirt road with your brother in the middle of the night, could be such an adventure?

And then I was like, "or maybe its just my perspective"

Because I STRIVE to live my life with enthusiasm and passion and excitement and optimism. If its going to be dreadful, let it be dreadful once. Why waist days on dreading something? Yeah. I actually thought of that. Which is basically what my mom has been saying about anxiety. Whats the point? If its going to happen, it will happen. So let it happen once. Go through the stress and torture one time,  don't waist every day on it. BUT THEN LIKE. WHY WAIST ANY TIME ON IT WHEN YOU CAN JUST TURN ON MUSIC AND DANCE AROUND? Oh, the simple and stressless life of a young college student, right? Actually, its proven that exercising is actually beneficial to you in many different ways, including boosting your mood and reducing stress so HA I'm actually helping myself and not just wasting time dancing. You should try it some time ;)

Right now, on Tuesday mornings,I am waking up at 6, doing my morning routine, and then leaving the house by 7:30 to go volunteer at a thing my church does. We have this huge kitchen in the basement, and every Tuesday morning, we prepare a lavish breakfast of something different every week, and serve it for free to anyone who walks in the door. Today, we had chicken and ham and biscuits and gravy and eggs and a really good vegetable soup, with pastries. The guys like to tease me about Billy, and the smile I always have on my face when I walk in the door.

But I love it. I love being teased (in good nature), I love waking up early, I love making other people happy. Someday I want to be able to repay everyone who has ever helped me out. It will be completely anonymous, but I want to shower my people with goodness. I have been given so much support and love from the people around me, and I have such a strong desire to give back.

That is where I think I get my true glow. Because I live my life with such a deep, passionate gratitude. To my parents, who continuously go so completely out of their way to help me out. To my mom who listens to me, every time I call crying over anything, even if she is in the middle of her work.

To my dad who drives 5 hours, doesn't get sleep, fixes my car after hours of inconvenience, and then drives another 5 hours home so he can still not get sleep, but go back to work.

To each individual in my personal little community up here in Spokane that shows me unconditional love that I have yet to fully understand.

To the people in Wallowa county who not only got me here, but continue to keep me motivated.

Not every kid gets to sit down and have a conversation like this. Not every kid has the power that I do, in that I am completely able to express myself through writing on a world wide stage, and maybe. Possibly, if I'm really lucky, make a positive impact on their life.

I currently have over 6,500 views on my blog. I appreciate every single one of them, and I would love that number to grow. I am not sure I really contribute much to your daily lives, but each of you contribute to mine and for that, I am extremely grateful. I am not back on facebook, you still cant DM me over Instagram, my snapchat hasn't been logged into in over a week, and it will continue to be like that because I am enjoying being able to freely explore my mind without my addiction pulling me away from my thoughts <3

This blog was going to be a lot more casual and less random than it is but legit thats what was coming to my brain as I typed and I never edit my blogs so at least you know you're getting the raw and real version of Georgia!

Essay I wrote a while ago for college...

Bright lights. Cool air. Anticipation is building like the crowds around me.
The band tosses up a few notes in the atmosphere before coming down with a song to get even the grass
itself hyped for the game ahead.  The stands rumble with sneakers and boots rushing to get a good spot.
Standing below on our own deck, the cheerleaders glisten like the breath crystals in the sky. Our messy
pony tails are high, bows are sparkling, uniforms pressed to perfection. I'm glowing. I can feel it. Our hands
come together as we pick up the rhythm and our dance starts. Every move is sharp.  Everything is precise
and perfect. Cheer has empowered me by motivating me to get fit, giving me platforms to give back to my
community, and helping me break out of my shell. 

Cheer has motivated me to get in shape, and stay that way. Jumping up and down and yelling for your team takes a lot of energy. Hours of our days are devoted to running, crunches, pull ups. Cheer is a full body sport. We have to lift each other, throw each other, and go non stop for four hours.  We don't have the option to show up and not perform to the best of our ability. Every lift has to be flawless, or we could drop a girl. The flyer has to keep her body tight. Every muscle ignited. As women, our strength is primarily in our lower body. We learn to push up with our legs. I've been a base as well as a flyer. The flyers have to have a lot of strength in their legs. Being able to stand with one foot on a girls hands take a lot of balance, and having strong legs and core helps out with that immensely. Bases have to have not only the leg strength to get the girl in the air, but the arm strength to keep her up. I never realized until I was a cheerleader how important it is to be able to have a flexible and strong body. Having my body in such good shape has built my confidence, and I've maintained a healthy weight and physical ability since I joined the team. Before I was a cheerleader, I never took the time to wake up early, lace up my shoes, and truly just do some real cardio. Now, I fill my lungs with fresh morning air and my head with the sound of my cheer mix and run or bike till i'm tired. I feel better than I ever have. 

Community service is also a passion of mine. Cheer has definitely opened doors for me to be able to access more community service. I love waking up and putting on my cheer tee and heading out to do something in my community. I've helped people move, I've done car washes, I've set up tents for triathlons and countless other things to get involved in my community. I live in an amazing part of the world, and all of the small businesses love to support us. I've gotten people to sponsor our car wash, help with travel expense, and even brought in more people to the games. It's really amazing for me to be able to perform my best, and represent my county well when I travel. The car wash I mentioned above is my favorite thing to do. I started the annual car wash when I was heading into my freshman year of highschool. It started out as a project that only my brother and I were involved in. Les Schawb always sponsored, but it was just Jake and I washing the cars. Over the years, I have expanded it greatly. I now have a few sponsors from the community, and the whole squad shows up to wash the cars. It's really fun to be able to interact with all the people. Businesses send down their company rigs, all the guys at les Schawb get their cars washed, and the community really shows up. Sometimes even the football team shows up! The best feeling is looking around after a day of work and seeing smiling faces. 

The last point I will make today is one that I have struggled with for a very long time. Cheer has helped me break out of my shell. I have social anxiety. I've always been very good at being small and easy to walk on. However, cheering takes confidence, motivation, dedication, standing in front of people who may or may not despise you, and screaming “GO TEAM” anyways. I created almost a second me, because she (the cheerleader me) is so different from who I thought I was. I didn't have time to think “there are probably 200 or more people in this gym right now, staring at me” as I was being thrown into the air. I mean, yes. It took a lot of my effort. I had to mentally prepare myself pretty much all day before games, and even practice. “Georgia, you've got this. You're strong, you've got this” all day. The thing about cheer is that I was more excited to go stand on that basketball court or the deck below the football stands than I was scared of the judgement. I might be small and timid, but in the battle against insecurity, cheer always won. 

In 2015, my family went through a lot of stress. I was hit the hardest, being closest to the metaphorical bomb that exploded. The only thing that kept my head above water was that little red, black, and white uniform hanging on the back of my bedroom door so I could stare at it every night before I went to bed. I got to be sassy when I was on the court. I got to yell and get my aggression out, I got to use some of my insane amounts of energy. I was no longer stuck under layers and layers of concrete and plaster. I had exploded from a prison I build for myself in a plume of glitter and bows. 

Cheerleading is not just a hobby to me. It's not just an olympic sport I enjoy watching, or even just getting into football games for free. It's every bit of hard work, the early mornings, the bloody blisters, aching muscles, tired smiles, heavy hair. It's every aspect of cheer that has helped me to grow into myself, stay in shape, and give back to my community that supports me.