Good Morning, I Love You

I have wanted to write this blog for a very long time. I wanted to write it when William went to basic, then I wanted to write it for our one year, then when I got back from Chicago. Heck, I wanted to write it last year when I found out he made it through MEPS. I just never knew what to say. Today it hit me. I just hope I say it right.

A wise friend of mine told me to not write it, unless it was something I had learned from. So instead of telling you all about the adventures we went on, and how amazing and kind he is, I'm just going to tell you what I've learned.

I have learned that it is ok to fight, but fight with love in your heart and the intention to heal, not break. I learned that feeling irrelevant, is invalid. You matter. Your thoughts, emotions, and opinions. They matter. I've learned that if they can't handle your crazy, they probably just can't handle you. I've learned that although forehead kisses can't cure a headache, they can make your heart feel better, which helps. I've learned that the words "you're beautiful" never get old. I've learned that being sleep deprived with your best friend, watching movies at 1 AM is more fun than normal movie watching.

I have learned that a family that shares no blood with you, can take you in and love you like you're their own. I've learned that hanging out with a 9 year old is the best way to spend a Saturday, or winter break. I learned that long hand letters are worth the hand cramps. That honesty is key, and good communication means more than speaking clearly about what a good day you had. I've learned that asking for help is good when you need it, and dose not mean you are weak. I learned that vulnerability is a strength, and its ok to cry when your heart hurts.

I learned that Sunday afternoons are best spent, curled up on the couch, watching football, even if there is a lot of yelling involved. I've learned that singing in the car might be fun when you're alone, but is so much better when someone sings off key beside you. I learned that although ice cream for desert every night sounds like an amazing idea, its really not. That going to the gym for 45 min every day can't reverse the side effects, and having an accountability partner that likes pasta more than you is not a good way to stay on track.

I have learned that simple gifts, like a kiss, or a squeeze of the hand, or hearing the right person say your name, lasts a lot longer than a chocolate bar, however both are hugely appreciated. I've learned that being the reason that someone smiles is worth the loss of sleep. That "cooking lunch together" really means that I make pasta while he watches. I have learned that holding his hand while he drives the truck is so underrated, and can inspire butterflies, even after a year. I have learned that road trips alone are fun, but its way better to road trip with someone who buys you snacks and is a good D.J.

I have learned that having a sense of wonder makes every day an adventure. That taking time to appreciate someone feels so good, and that watching a guy in a military uniform (even if its a costume) play with little kids, can seriously melt a heart. I learned that its way better to be goofy and laugh with the people you love, than it is to do anything else, and no matter how many times you're rejected, always ask if you can help.

I have learned that a "good morning, I love you" text is the best thing to wake up to. That distance really dose make the heart grow fonder but knowing that doesn't make being across the country from each other any easier. I have learned that building a community and letting people support me is important for all aspects of my life. I have learned that missing a phone call hurts, and Skype dates are kinda fun. I have learned that any moment you get together, should be cherished. You never know how much time you have till its gone.

I have learned that hanging up the phone when a conversation gets rough, is not a solution, nor will it make anything better. Ignoring phone calls wont make your problems go away, and running away dose not heal the hurt in your heart. I have learned that shutting down and saying everything is fine, when its not, is a bad idea. I have learned that people can surprise you, and that not all surprises are bad. I have learned that people can change. That not all change is bad. I've learned to allow people to celebrate me, and begging them not to is pointless. I have learned that I deserve to be loved and celebrated, even if I am not quite sure why yet.

I have learned that courage can take you farther than a tank of gas can, that the words "I love you" are a promise, that nothing can solve a problem like a hug, and that ocean blue eyes are easy to get lost in. I have learned that nothing is better than having a best friend by your side. That its wonderful to know you can always support them, and they can support you, even from different states. I have learned that being scared to share something beautiful is a pointless fear. If its truly strong, it can take the bullies.

I have learned, I have loved. I've lived. I am blessed, and I know that. I'm proud of my sailor, grateful for his family, and blessed to be a part of their lives. I wish this could even brush the surface, but words fail me.

 I hope that every single one of you gets a "good morning, I love you" text. You deserve it. Life itself is a learning opportunity, you just have to have your eyes open. Are you ready to wake up?