Why I Haven't Been Posting

Hello!!! I miss you guys :( lets have a little chat.

The past four months, has been insane. In February, I got a job, and flew to Chicago in the same week, that's kinda when the insanity started. I work for Wake Up Call Coffee, and William has graduated from Navy boot camp. The rest of February was a blur of school and work.

Suddenly, it was March. March is finals month, March is my birthday month. In March, during finals week, which was also my birthday, I got in a little fender bender and wound up needing a new hood and fender on my car. I passed my final, though!!! With flying colors! I wrote my thesis on human trafficking and how I think we can stop it. I actually got a letter from the school to congratulate me on my GPA. I also had some doctors appointments to see if we could figure out what was going on with my stomach. We waited almost four weeks for results, and found out that they found nothing.

Because I hadn't had a solid job until February, I couldn't afford to go back to school after spring break, which brings us to April. There had been chatter about me moving into a new house in the valley, and we had the first of June as a rough date for that to happen, however middle of April, I would up having a meeting, and moving my whole house in like 24 hours. It was crazy. Two days later I went home for another doctors appointment. That was the week of Easter, I wound up having to stay an extra day for another doctors appointment, and we still came up blank. I had also planned an entire trip to Florida, middle of April. I had the help of Lisa, but yeah. I found a house that was close enough to the base that Billy wouldn't have issues, I picked days and got flights. I felt very grown up lol.

MAY. Holy cow hello May. William is now in Pensacola, FL for school. He just graduated from NACCS (Naval Air Crew Candidate School) with flying colors. I went to Florida a few days ago. I guess its officially a week ago that I got back. That trip was such a confidence boost. I was so nervous. I didn't know how I was going to figure out Taxis and terminals and a military base. Yet, I did!! Again, I had some help form Lisa. She helped me figure out my boarding passes and instructed me on how to get a taxi and all that. Yet, when the day came, I was so nervous I could hardly walk my legs were shaking so bad. I did it though. I spent a week in a different state, across the country from anyone who could help me if something went wrong. I figured out a guest pass for base, I checked my man out for the weekend. I figured it out!

Its been a crazy year for me. I've been working at 3:30 AM pretty much every morning since March.

I guess I do have a lesson. I have looked at every month in my planner, and written in the times I had to go to work, and all the things I had to get done each day, and I've felt defeated. I've felt small and incapable. How on earth am I going to be able to get all of this stuff done? How am I going to be able to accomplish anything?  Yet, every day, I wake up and I get it done. I look back now, and I just can't believe that I've done it. Like, guys. I did it. I have a job, I have a really great, ideal honestly, living situation. I've got obstacles. lots of obstacles I still have to over come, but I feel less afraid. God just has this really uncanny way of shaping me into this capable person. Giving me tools that I need to accomplish the tasks at hand.

I'm not going to lie, I have felt like my life is pointless recently. I wake up and I do the same things every day and I don't feel like I'm growing, but the closer I look, the more growth I see. Honestly, just writing this blog has helped me see a lot of growth. I have accomplished so much. If you're in a rut, and you feel like you're not doing anything meaningful, maybe just take a closer look. God has a plan for you, and maybe right now hes just getting you ready for a bigger job. Or maybe your doing that job, but instead of doing it all at once, Hes taking you though it day by day.

Guys, this is crazy. What a time to be alive! Not just for me, but for all of us. We are all doing something, moving towards bigger things. Learning and growing and making it through days we feel like we will never get through. Things in our communities need voices, things in our worlds need voices. There are topics being discussed and growth to be had and it feels like everything around us is moving so fast. Maybe take a moment to just reflect. Listen to yourself for a second. We all play an irreplaceable role on earth. That's why God chose each of us individually.

I hope to be back to blogging more frequently. Its like therapy for my soul, even if no one reads my blog.






Guys!! Let me hear your voices! If you read my blog, PLEASE drop a comment. Even if it doesn't pertain to my blog, I would just like to know who I am reaching! Thank you <3

PENSACOLA ADVENTURE

When I first thought about the blog I would write about my adventure, I thought it would
just be about my adventures in Pensacola, I now realize I can’t tell you about my
adventures in Pensacola, without telling you about the magic that transpired here.

Florida was going to be an Instagram worthy break from reality. Beach lounging,
trendy coffee shops, and the most touristy things I could find. It was nothing that I
ever expected, and everything I didn't know I needed.

It started with the best hug of my life. That smile, so relaxed. Just a casual “hey”.
Khaki shorts, dark blue under armor shirt. Sunglasses on, hat over his eyes. I was
nervous. I was shaking. How was he so calm? He held my hand and walked me across
base, all his buddies smiling at him. He is just so COOL. The base is beautiful. Stones,
bricks, palm trees. We went on a hike through all the trails he runs. First through
beaches, then what felt like miles of exposed pavement, then jungle. We walked across
paths that ran by the ocean, sitting on the ocean wall, feeling the salt water splash
our arms. The humidity making my bangs stick to my forehead. The breeze making my
skin prickle. My face hurt from smiling and laughing all day.

The next day he took me to a little street market in the historical district of Pensacola.
It was beautiful. The skies were a glowing blue. I heard that the sky was blue because
of the ocean, and if that's really the case, it makes sense. He held my hand as we
walked through blocks of local vendors. Street music filled the air, along with the smell
of fresh baked goods, popcorn, and sea salt. We had brunch at a cute little restaurant
downtown. I had eggs and bacon, he had a burger.

That afternoon, we went to Avengers End Game (it was his first time watching, my
second). I mean, I guess that isn't really important, bit I had fun. We sat in the movie
theater and I cried really hard while he kept trying to calm me down and I'd tell him to
pay attention to the movie. I know everyone thought we were crazy, but I didn't care.

We walked through blocks of beautiful architecture. Street vendors had booths full of
art, jewelry, honey, and produce, all local. Pensacola is beautiful. New buildings keep
the integrity of the old town, painted pelicans are on all the street corners, representing
everything that Pensacola is. The town itself is a work of art. Like it's directly out of a
movie. The houses are all charming, the parks are full of beautiful trees that create
shade, and there are water fountains in the center of each.  

The storms were beautiful. Thunder echoed all day. Rain fell on the streets, and when
it fell hard, it ripped through the canopies of trees. Art covered every available space.
I guess Saturday night was prom night in Pensacola, because girls in lavish and
beautiful gowns posed in front of the bay front, fancy restaurants were full of teens
dressed to the 9's ,and the town was crawling with nice cars. He took me to a
restaurant called the Tin Cow. It's like subway, but for burgers. It was SO good.

I don't even know how to explain the magic in the air. It was electric. Maybe I was just
high off of being with my best friend, maybe the sky is actually neon. Maybe the sand
is actually fairy dust.

Sunday was the worst day.

Sunday was the best day.

It stormed so hard on Saturday night that the power was down the next morning. The
stop lights were out, it was like a tropical, low risk adventure. At the time, it seemed so
exciting. William had promised to take me on a breakfast date, so we spent like two
hours googling restaurants that would be open at 7AM on a Sunday, with gluten free
food. Shockingly, Denny's has gluten free food! Just not pancakes :( The Denny’s we
wanted to have breakfast at was closed, due to the power outage. We had to drive clear
across town to get to one that was open. I thought it was fun. After breakfast, we took a
taxi back to the aviation museum, so William could have more time to adventure
and look around. It's amazing!!! We went on a flight simulator (Billy was the pilot, I
wouldn't even try haha). He walked around talking about all the planes, naming each
one and telling me what they used it for. I love watching his face light up like that. He
was so excited. His eyes twinkled. I loved it.

Mind you, this all happens before noon.

We spent the afternoon. The whole afternoon, on the Quiet Water Boardwalk. We
walked around looking at shops, Billy took me to a hilarious and delightful restaurant,
where we ate outside during a rainstorm. A cover band was playing at the bar behind
us, and we were overlooking the ocean. People looked at us like we were crazy while
we sat holding hands and laughing and crying. Our time was running out and we were
doing our best to ignore it, but it still loomed over us.

I never officially went to the beach. I was in Pensacola, Florida and I have not seen the
Pensacola beach. But the few hours I got to play in the water at Quiet Water, were
perfect. The sun came out for us, just for a couple hours. I want to tell you guys all
about it, I can see it playing out in my head so clear, but I don't know how to convey
the magic, or tell you how the water felt on my skin. It was the happiest I've been in a
long time. I felt like I was home. Like, everything around me was familiar and I was with
my best friend and the moment wouldn't end, and I was home.

Pensacola is magic. The humidity, the color of the sky, the way the world transforms
from a small beach town to bright lights in the city as the sun goes down. The way you
can hardly open your own door because there are military boys EVERYWHERE and
they ALWAYS open the door for you. For that reason, the brotherhood of military guys,
the whole place kinda felt like family. Everywhere we went, even though William had a
hat on, the haircut was obvious and alllll the military guys would ask him his rank and
they would talk about military stuff that was WAY over my head. I loved it. I loved
the way he would smile at me when he told them I was his girl. I loved the way he
walked past all the regular taxis and always got the nicest one for us. He promised me
that he would make me feel like a queen all weekend, and he kept that promise.

Nothing was harder than kissing him goodbye before we turned the last corner to his
barracks, and I walked on to that quarter deck and said goodbye.  The long walk back
to the Taxi Que in the dark, waking up the next morning knowing I would be going on
my adventure alone that day, but it was worth it. It was so completely worth it and
I would do it over and over again. I hope that I get the
opportunity to.

Here are some pictures from our trip <3 Enjoy!