CHILE

Before I start this, I want to give you all a bit of a back story, and share my testimony.

I've never done drugs, never had sex, I was never in a gang and I have never killed somebody. In fact, I have a feeling that most people can look at me and assume I grew up in the church and chose on day, to get baptized. However, I don't really think that's true for anyone.

I was born a passionate kid. Since I can remember, I have felt intense emotion inside of me, that gets so intense sometimes that it hurts. First, I wrote songs. I would stand on my front porch and sing as loud as I could, with lyrics that I assumed were inspiring at the time. My mother raised me around Jesus. I grew up with a big picture bible. Like, I knew who Jesus was, but I never really grasped WHO He is. I just always felt compelled to use my music to help other kids.


Flash forward 10 years, and I am 15. I am 15 years old and I am in a bad situation. I'm failing most my classes, I'm in a really toxic relationship with a boy I thought I loved, and I am in an honestly abusive, both physically and mentally, relationship with someone I thought was my best friend. Basically, I was low. I had no idea what loved was. I felt unloved. I felt alone, yet no matter how alone I got, I couldn't get the voices out of my head. My insecurities were crushing. My situation felt hopeless, and I could not sit down and rest anywhere. I could not let my guard down. Most nights, I could not even sleep, and darkness just found a home in my heart.

Church.

My mom loaded all four of us up in the truck one Sunday morning. I can remember thinking at the time "honestly, how dare she. I want a day off." I honestly have no idea what Pastor Dave preached on. I do remember seeing some mean girls from school there though, and I was just angry. What the heck mom. You bring me to church and there are bullys sitting in the pew behind us.

This one girl, in particular, I can actually remember her screaming at me that I needed Jesus when we were in the second grace, after she pushed me out of my swing and I told her that she was stupid.

okayyy anyways. A little while later, for my birthday, my mom took me to a concert with a youth group and I sat in the bus window that said "chosen one" and I am pretty sure I have talked about this before on my blog. That night changed my life. It was the start of something bigger than I could have ever imagined.

Over the next couple of years, from the time I was 15 to when I was just about 17, It was a rocky roller coaster. I had two abusive relationships I needed to get out of, neither of which were easy, both of which I came back to a few times, in desperation to find what was missing, what was wrong with me, what I had done wrong. I had to get my grades back on track, I lost sports, one of the few things that kept me motivated, and I had to learn to trust people to help me get my life back on track. The whole entire time, all I wanted to do was give back. I was so thankful that I had been helped up from the gravel I was sleeping in. Hundreds of passions inspired me. I wanted to be a layer, I wanted to be a missionary, I wanted to liberate kids from human trafficking. I wanted to bring down sex rings, become the first lady of the united states, and help heal the pain that others were dealing with. Every disaster relief opportunity that came up, my heart burned with longing and desire.


So here we are. I am 19, and I want to go to Chile. I have prayed about it. I prayed about it before I even knew it was an option. I have been asking God for direction and true purpose. I've been asking for an opportunity to share with others, what I have. I have been begging Him to use me. Last week, my mother called and told me that Pastor Dave was putting together a team to go to Chile, and she wondered if I would want to go.

The second we hung up, I turned my music up really really loud and danced around my house yelling "HOOYAH OH YEAH HECK YES" for like a solid 30 minutes. Which is a very long time.

My trip will be around $2000, plus a passport (which I am applying for on Monday, hopefully) it will be a working mission, it will be around 10 days. I will be actually helping build things and talking to people and sharing in this community of people that my church helped build a church for. It will not be a easy, tourist trip. It will not be a "share the gospel and sing camp songs" mission. It will be hiking. More than that, it will be connecting with people that i have never met, creating relationships with a country I have never been to.

Mostly, I'm just excited to share. I don't care what I do, I don't care how much walking, hiking, how many bug bits. I can't even describe it, but my heart is burning. I am on fire and this is what I want. Its my passion, its my calling. This mission is going to change my life. I hope so bad that I can change someone elses life. I want to change the world. God puts teams of people together, perfectly placed for their time and their turn and they serve their purpose and I finally feel like its my time. 

I am a passionate kid. I have always been a passionate kid. I have always felt called to missions. Its time for me to answer my calling.

I will be blogging more and more about whats going on, things I plan on doing, and my preparations for this mission trip. I know this blog was long and kind of ended abruptly, but I just wanted to give you the more emotional side of the story before I start talking about the logistics. I am asking for your prayers and support as I embark on this adventure. THANK YOU!!