Momma

I'm getting married soon. I've only been engaged three months, and we don't even have a date yet, but its happening. Before I turn 22, I will be Georgetta Nichole Wisor, and this whole thing just has me thinking about my mom a lot.

I just recently watched my mothers wedding video, and boy. Shes gorgeous. Shes beautiful. I didn't know my mom when she was my age. I didn't know my mom when she was 23, and I didn't know my mom on her wedding day, but I can see her in her smile. I can still see that youthful, fun loving woman. Shes so beautiful, it takes my breath away and it makes me cry a little. My mom doesn't wear flower print jeans, or leather jackets anymore (I wear her clothes for her :) ), but every time she smiles, every time she laughs, I can still see the girl that is in her senior photos. Her wedding video, the pictures of her and her sisters and HER mom.

My mom was at the door with open arms, every day I came home from school in tears over what some kid said that day. My mom wiped my tears and told me she loved me. My mother was in and out of the principals office, defending my honor after I was falsely accused. For YEARS she was in and out of that office, defending me against the rest of the world. 

My mom drove me to all of my sports practices, she was at every game, and she brought the best snacks when it was her turn. My mom also went above and beyond to give me the best birthday parties in school, knowing it was the only hour out of every school year, where kids WANTED to be my friend, because I got to pick who did "heads up, 7 up" with me. 

My mom ate the gross creations we made in the kitchen, with a smile on her face. She made me feel remarkably special when she took me on trips in her Thunderbird car. My mom was my biggest fan. She fought so hard for me. I know I was not an easy kid. I was messy, I was dramatic, I sucked in school, I was always sick, I was boy crazy (but only for like, 11 years) I think that at the end of the day, I was just a crazy twerp.

My mom gave up a lot for me. I was NOT easy to raise.

As I got older, my actions had bigger reactions, like changing schools, and a totaled car and a heavy heart. My sunny disposition and chubby fingers turned into depression and starving myself, and my mom was right there to root me on, to motivate me and comfort me through it.

When we found out that I was always sick because of gluten, my mom was the one to remember, even when I forgot. She made sure I felt confident in my new outfits every year, when I decided to cut all my hair off, dye it black, and perm it, my mom was there beside me (making sure I didn't make any really awful hair choices), and helping me pick out new outfits so I could feel totally boss, and rand new.

My mom has always been the one in the kitchen, teaching me how to cook. Teaching me how to bake (even when I was rebelling against her help), always the one to confide in and talk to, always the one with the best playlists, and always my fav person to day dream about making music videos to our fav songs. Even now, my mom is going to bat for me when people say crule things about my Fiance and I. 

I forgot to stop and look and realize and SEE. I forgot to pause for a second and live in the moments. For a second, I was so wrapped up in myself and my own world and my own problems, that I forgot to look around me and see the actual beauty.

So yeah. I'm losing my mind, and therefor dancing like an idiot and filming it, but quarantine has helped me look at my mom, because its just been the two of us (until the boys come home). Yes, big scary and major things are happening all over the world, but what if you stop focusing on the big scary out there, and realize the beauty inside the walls we are all trapped in right now?

You might see something amazing.

I love you momma. Happy mothers day. No matter what my last name is, I will always be your little girl 

Growing Up a Farm Kid

I miss Spokane. I miss Walmart being a seven minute drive away, I miss having an array of coffee shop choices, all within 5 minutes of my house, I miss having a paved driveway to skateboard in, but let me tell you. It is SO good to be back on the farm. 

I missed the cows. I missed the smell of the cows. I missed having miles and miles and miles, of what feels like my very own road, because the only people that drive it, are lost tourists, and farmers. I even missed the farm work. 

I grew up so blessed. I drove the tractor for my dad in the winters, while he fed cows, or I got in my ab workout and pushed the hay off the tractor, myself. I spent my summers, rolling over hay bales so my dad could drive by with the trailer and throw them on. I lugged aluminum pipe all over a hillside, played in the mud with my little brother, had insane make-believe adventures in our treehouse. We rode our bikes all over, going at least 7-14 miles a day. We had tons of yard space to run and laugh with our dogs, and we could yell camp songs as loud as we wanted and only the older couple whose house was next to our field, could hear us. 

I didn’t know it at the moment, but I was living some of my favorite years of my life, so far. I grew up, working hard, understanding responsibility, and the value of a life. I watched animals give birth, and I watched animals pass away, I raced my best friend on miles of green pasture, and I sat on the back of my pony while he grazed in our yard (while wearing an insanely stylish home-made cape) I was at branding parties, learned to give my very own lambs, vaccines. Mixing milk formula and feeding bummers, two to three times a day. Collecting eggs, shooting squirrels like it was a chore, throwing rocks into a trailer, and getting dirty.

 I grew up, learning to face my fears. This one time, I was petting our bottle calf, blue boy, and he knocked me down and started playing (when a cow plays, especially a completely tame steer, it's NOT fun) and then his scaredy cat girlfriend almost kicked me in the head and from that day forward, I was terrified to even be in the same field as cows (even on a tractor). Yet, my dad still had me walking out through the pastures with him. Throwing hay off the tractor, and bottle feeding the babies. There was no room for my fear. Scared to drive the tractor? That's ok, we started in a low gear. Scared to drive the 4-wheeler? That's ok, take it slow. My dad taught me that I was capable of anything. My mom put bandaids on my cuts, and my little brother made me laugh until I felt better. 

It's just now occurring to me how much I really did, what living on a farm really did for me. I developed skills at age 9, that a ton of kids will never have (like driving a stick shift). It wasn't glamorous, I’d hop in the truck with a mix of mud and cow poop on my face, but I loved it. My parents used to say “it builds character” and I would roll my eyes and probably say something mean, but looking back, it really did. Get dirty? Take a shower. Physically hard? It will feel rewarding when you're done. Scared? That's ok, take it slow. Don't know how? It's easy to ask. 

My little brother and I would laugh so hard, we always made our work fun, and I think maybe that's part of the reason we are so close. My parents really gave us a magical and amazing childhood by planting us on a farm. I had no idea how much we would grow, how much we would learn, and what a bright summer those memories would be. 

Gosh, it's insane to me. I have friends that I went to school with, that lived in town, and have no idea what it was like to grow up on a farm. It's not just living in a rural community, it's being a part of what makes the community rural. I didn't know it. I a little bit hated it at the time, but looking back now. It feels so good to know that I grew up a farm kid. I grew up on KWVR country, and that was all I needed for relaxing.  

So, to all the parents, and all the kids that are thinking of joining 4-H or FFA, I say go for it. Please. Because even if you never travel across the country, or across the world on some grand leadership trip, you learned about taking care of an animal, even if it's just a small taste of what it's really like. It will change your life for the better, every hard second of getting it halter broke. Every time it steps on your foot while you wear flip flops, every time you have to chase it around your yard because it got away from you, it's worth it, and someday you will laugh at all the memories, and your life will be fuller, because you did.

Military Date Night

Ugh. Long distance. My Fiance and I have pretty much always been long distance. Of course, we have had those months when we loved a couple blocks from each other, but since he has joined the military, its been over a year of nothing but long distance, with a few week long trips to see him. (two trips)

So how the heck do we keep things interesting? Well, we live each day with the goal in mind to make it an adventure to tell each other about. Meaning, if all I do is wash the dishes and clean my car, then you bet it was the most amazing car wash session I have ever had and my interior SPARKLES like Mr. Clean HIMSELF was the one who did it. If all he did was study, then you bet he learned some good stuff he cant tell me because its classified, but!! It was insanely interesting and he's really excited for his next sim (BTW, hes been crushing it. His instructors are even impressed with him. Me? I'm not surprised. Just insanely proud)

But Georgia, isn't it boring to just talk on the phone? Yeah. It really is. Luckily, that is not all we do. Oh no, we shake things up!

First, we read the bible together every night. This time, it was his turn to pick the book, so we are in Samuel. We do like, a little bible study. He catches things I have never heard, and to make things even more interesting, we even ask my mom what she thinks its saying. I personally love this time with him. I love listening to him read the Bible to me. I really love him talking to me about what he thinks, and noticing little things I don't notice.

We also play video games. I can't believe that I am actually admitting this. Yes, Billy Wisor is trying to teach me to play a video game. I can not remember the name of it, but he video calls me and then we are on the same team and its basically capture the flag, and he has to coach me through all of it because I don't know anything about video games. Bless his soul, I ask so many questions it probably annoys him haha

We also video call to watch movies. that way, we can see each other while we watch a movie on our laptops, and we can talk and see each others reactions and stuff. I really enjoy it. We switch who picks the movies. He likes watching Guardians of the Galaxy (which I don't mind. HEllo Chris Pratt), I educate him on Disney musicals. Our next movie will be "10 Things I Hate About You", which I found out he also liked the other night!!! I was very excited. I love that movie!!!

We also like to face time to do random things, like a skincare routine, or I teach him a new little dance, or just how to dance. The other day, we were video calling just to video call, and we both fell asleep. Its just nice to be around each other. My mom thinks our conversations are just that boring. (kidding. She was kidding)

Its hard. I mean, there are tons of moments when we just laugh and giggle and we are totally goofy, but there are also moments when my heart hurts because I wish I could rest my head on his shoulder, or something happened in the day and one of us just needs a hug, and the best we can do is say that we're right there, and stay on the phone until its more okay. I struggle, because I want to make him feel loved and supported and taken care of, but there is only so much I can do from across the country.

This relationship has changed a lot in the past few months, but our relationship changes all the time. I move different places, work different hours. School adds more stress to him. He leaves for training for a week and we can't talk. I leave for two weeks on a mission and we can't talk. New issues pop up, internet goes down, phones stop working or wont charge. Its never a guarantee that I will be able to talk to him in a day.

I get to plan a wedding with him 3000 miles away, and a lot goes into that that I didn't even know. Like, the details on an invite? I completely forgot about that. Not to mention, we are young. We will both be half way through our 21st year of life when we get married (well, he will almost be 22) if things even go the way we want them to, but we don't know yet because we are waiting on the military.  Do I just want to elope and start my life? Uhm, heck yes. Will I? No. Our future is worth more than that. The waiting, is killing me. The distance is driving me crazy. I'm across the country from my best friend, with nothing but a phone to keep us connected and it honestly sucks.

I would not do this if it was not worth it, and believe me, its worth it.  Every hello, proves it. Every time his hand brushes mine and I remember that hes finally RIGHT THERE. Its everything. I put on a smile, every day. I get my work done, and I live my life like its an adventure to share with the one I love. I pray to God He opens an opportunity for me to go see Billy. I do what I can to distract myself from the fact that hes not here, but this sucks.

Every time he kisses me goodbye, I have no idea when I get to see him again. We have no idea how long this engagement will last because we don't know when he deploys. I miss him. I cry when hes not listening, I do my best to laugh when hes around, but I know in my heart that at the end of the day, no matter how long this day is, he will be there. He will be there to tell me he loves me and that hes going to be with me again soon. So I will wait. I will have a military date night, I will wait every day until he calls, and I will love him with all I've got, from 3000 miles away.

I know that its hard to understand. Why would anybody do that? Why would anybody choose that for themselves? And even if you know why, its still hard to understand what it feels like, or why its so hard. I joke about having the house to myself for six months every once in a while, I know I joke about. Everything, but I don't know how else to be okay when I wake up every day, missing my best friend.

So. Today, I will put on my makeup, I will dress cute, and I will hand you your morning coffee out the window. I will smile while I do my tasks, and I will answer with "we aren't sure yet" when you ask me about wedding details. I will laugh and tell you its okay and that we are rocking it when you tell me that it must suck, and I'll have another military date night. One less day until I see him again, I just don't know how many more are ahead of me.