Bride to Be

 We are now 10 days from the best day of my life (this far) 

My house is buzzing with wedding talk, I'm rejoicing that my wedding diet is almost over, and my front lawn is being transformed in to a 5 star venue.  My bags are all packed,  my chalked out UHAUL is almost full, and the count down for the day Billy arrives at my house, is in the single digits. 

My house is like a beehive, full of activity and noise. 

Last night, I was on my walk and it all hit me at once. I have been engaged for so long, been away from Billy for so long, that I almost can't believe that its almost time. I am about to drive away from my parents, my little brother, all of my friends, everything. I will be a random person in the largest growing city in America. For the first time in my life, I wont be "So-and-so's daughter", I won't be anybody's daughter. I'll be somebody's wife!!! 

Realization has been hitting me in waves. One moment, I'm the distracted squirrel, not really paying attention to what's going on, sorta running through the motions of what's been asked of me, and the next, my panic monkey takes the wheel and in 15 minutes I have my entire closet packed in to boxes and I cant find a single pair of jeans to wear. 

It almost feels frantic, trying to spend time with my little brother, make plans with our pastor, remember who I need to talk to about rehearsal dinners, make a day-of plan, try to figure out how I can help while my parents create a little village on our lawn.. All while I am trying to make plans for crossing the country, talk to the groom, coordinate with his family, make sure all my things are packed in a way that will fit in our UHAUL, its almost hard to take a second to enjoy this season of my life, because every breath it seems, is filled with anxiety and pressure. 

Yet, through all of it, I get to see the way God has so abundantly blessed my life. I get to marry my best friend, who strives to lead our house in Jesus Christ, I get to grow up with him, and learn and adventure and experience my entire youth with him. My friends and family have been showing such an incredible outpouring of love and generosity, hosting bridal showers for me, and filling my heart with joy. Even through the chaos, I think that everybody close to me has gotten to truly see the Lords hand in all of this, and experience His love. 

I was not expecting any of this goodness. I'll be honest, I was anticipating something awful. I started this season of engagement feeling inconvenient, burdensome, and stupid. There were time I wondered if it was actually right, or worth it, but God has shown me how He used all those times to keep me on a path that was so much more fulfilling than I had ever imagined. Over the last year and a half, my relationship has changed drastically. We have been forced to grow up in a lot of ways, discovered growth, and faced hard truths that ultimately changed us for the better. 

Let me just say, it was all worth it 

I can't wait to get a hug from Billy again. Its been 10 months!!!! I almost want to cry with excitement. I can't wait to blog about all of it. I will try to keep my blog more updated, now that I am moving away and starting my own adventure!!! Life is FULL of adventure, and  I am really blessed to be on this one.

Thank you to my readers! You guys rock, and truly, you are blessings. Thank you!!