365

365 days ago

Still at EHS. 365 days ago. I was scared about Alt. I didn't know what was going to happen, where I would end up. I figured I wouldn't cheer anymore. I had nothing but hope though. I was scared. I was rock bottom. I had just come off a hard year, I was prepared to go up. That had to be the only direction I could go. 

January was a month of meetings, phone calls, and confusion. I thought maybe I could still hang on. By any little thread I had, by golly, I was going to hang on. 

February was a month of letting go. I transferred to Alt Ed, and began my journey. 

March. I think I started vocal lessons and this blog in March. I started cracking out of my shell. Oh, I also turned 17. 

April. I was definitely out of my shell, singing to my teachers, and dancing. Always. Alt Ed began to feel like home, and one of my favorite places on Earth. 

May. May was a beautiful month. In May, we went on the Alt Ed trip and I got really close with my new class, as well as my teachers. May was a month of new beginnings. Excitement for school, for life! Came flooding back into my veins. I can still feel the cool morning air of Boise on my skin. The smell of BBQ hamburgers and the various sounds of joy that floated around the air. 

June was a month of travel. A month of new things, like living alone, away from home for a week, running almost daily, shoving cans through at the Dollar Stretcher, and my best friend came home for the summer. 

July was full of lake days and late nights. Gallons of ice cream eaten by my best friend and I, gallons of gas used on the road between us and Katie. Fireworks that lit up the sky as I sat, for the first time, with my best friend, at the lake on a hill with the magic of summer floating around. July was also the month I took a job with TNU. I started my journalism career (sorta?) and created a bunch of really cool connections. We got new floors, and I had a blast with 4-H camp. ALSO, IT WAS THE BEST MONTH CAUSE ITS THE ONE I FOUND OUT I COULD CHEER AGAIN. 

August was a month of good bye. Good bye summer, good bye Rachel. Good bye best friend (for now). I took my first spontaneous jump in the lake, good bye to all of my missing credits. I finished all my summer courses, and prepared to settle in for my last beautiful year of high school. 

September was a month of dreams coming true. Homecoming was so much more than I could have asked for. I got a promotion at TNU, build some amazing friendships with girls from Alt Ed.

October, I went to my first dance that wasn't an EHS dance. I met some pretty rad dancers at Joseph's homecoming, helped my church out with a Halloween celebration at the cloverleaf hall, my brother and I went on a rescue mission to save our two cats, Oscar and Emmy, I got some senior photos taken, and I also started at my first job (!!!) 

In November, our football team went to state playoffs for the first time in I have no idea how long. It was really awesome for the cheerleaders, because we all got one more game, and more pep assemblies, and more bonding. It was also the month of cheer tryouts. My first ever cheer tryouts. Our team grew, and the bonds we had strengthened. 

December was a crazy long month. It started with a Christmas Bazaar that my mother organized,  and I baked around 500 cookies for, then basketball and church choir practice and work, plus workouts and honestly it was a long month, but it went by so fast I can hardly remember. However, I did take my last cheer trip to Peneldton and had such a blast with my squad. 

This past year was a good one, thats for sure. It contained a lot of growth. A lot of unexpected, maybe some hurt and pain, but all of it wrapped up into this one beautiful experience that I was in no way expecting. My days were packed, and now they are even more packed with college stuff, anticipation for graduation and the newness thats ahead of me. I left 2017, sitting on the couch, snuggled up with my mom and two cats, watching West Side Story. 

If there is one thing I learned this year, it was that growth is an opportunity that presents itself, and sometimes you don't even know your experiencing it. Last year, My resolution was to discover true beauty, and I found it. Not in the mirror, like I thought I was, but in my heart, and the world around me. This year, I set no goal, other than to be more aware of the opportunities life is presenting. 

I hope to bring bravery, fortitude, endurance, passion, motivation, joy, and drive into 2018 with me. Here is to a year of personal growth, change, and fear conquering.  

Hurrah, and welcome to my life, 2018!