Home Sick

I like solid facts. Dependability, I guess. I suck at math. Like, ask my high school math teachers. Yet, oddly enough, I love statistics. I like solid evidence. I guess maybe that will help me be a good journalist, because I want to know everything. I want the whole truth and I want to know that I have all the facts from all the sides.

So naturally, when my teacher told me that, according to statistical evidence,  the first three months away from home would be the worst, I was over joyed. I knew leaving was going to be hard on me, but I had an anchor. Three months. Thats all I had to survive. When the first month passed, and I looked back and realized that I hadn't cried much and that I was doing pretty good, I was hecka excited. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad! Month two flew by. I had two families that I spent all my time with. The Agnors, and the Wisors. I pretty much spent every evening at the Wisors house, hanging out with Jack and William. Their mom welcomed me in, and I felt like I was home. Then I'd go back to the Agnors, and the boys were running around. I took care of them after school. Teased them while they played video games, talked to Luke about running... It was all very good.

Hello October, and buckets of tears. I wasn't expecting the third month to hit me like a freight train. I miss my mom. I miss my brother. So bad. I miss cheesy Halloween movies and the way the trees look by now. I miss cheerleading, and I miss football. I miss hunting season. I really just... miss home.

When I hang out with Jack and William and their family, we watch football. Like. We are allowed to yell and back talk the refs. Its so fun. At this point, Mrs. Wisor kinda just plans on me coming over after William gets off work. To me, its crazy. William and I take Jack to the mall, and we go to hobby lobby and look around, we go to tons of toy stores, and we even go to Barns & Nobles! Jack and I always push all the buttons on the toys that make noise, cause its funny to watch William get *mad* at us. Its no secret though, I can always see his smile.

Jack is a fun little dude. I never anticipated having a 9 year old friend as one of my better friends in college, however, I learn a lot from him. He is amazing at creating things with Legos, hes artistic with clay, hes diligent with his spelling homework every night, and hes not afraid to have fun. I have seen full-out nurf wars go down in that house. At the end of the night, hes still excited to snuggle down next to me and show me his video games and ask me how to spell his screen name.

I feel at home. Yet I miss my own so much. Jacob (my biological brother, just to clarify) and I used to lay on the dirt road after a run, or just a long day, and look at the stars. Closer to me moving, we'd lay on my bedroom floor with sheet masks on and giggle about stupid things that were not funny. I don't even know why we laughed. Every time I call mom and hes home, he picks up the phone and its at least a half hour before my mom gets her own phone back, because Jake and I can talk for hours. He texted me today to tell me that hes going to bake for me when I come home.

When I get on the phone with my mom, we just talk for hours. Or. We could, but we both have things to do. We talk about the colors of the trees and we talk about how Bath & Body works has updated to their Fall sense. I tell her about college and how weird it is, we talk about church and my dad.

In Spokane, I drive the same places, do the same things, and yet I hardly ever see the same face twice. Even the people in the grocery store seem to be always changing. At home, I knew everyone. I went different places and did different things. I always knew someone. There was always someone I had some connection to. Someone knew my parents, and there for, knew me. No matter where I went. It was still home.

Now, I'm not saying that I don't love Spokane, because I do. I love living in the city. I love having a boyfriend and my two close friends that I knew before I moved up here. I love Williams family and I love the Agnors. I love having access to Walmart and a mall, all within 30 min and not 2.5 hours, just to get a Walmart. The mall was like, 4 hours away! In a different state!

I want to know how I have changed. Whats different about me? Thats one thing I keep thinking about. Its not something that I thought of when I left, but even as I change, my home changes too. My brother turned 17 when I was gone. He completely redesigned our bathroom. My parents have a new TV remote. Like, small things. Some pretty major things have happened too, though. I wonder if its weird for my mom to have memories of who I was, and then have me come home, who I am. I also wonder if my mom misses that Georgia like I do.

I miss home.