Non Toxic Lifestyle

 At the start of 2023, I decided that I wanted to be as healthy as I possibly could be. My husband and I knew we wanted to start trying for kids soon, and the doctors had told me that it might be difficult for me because of some issues I had. So this whole thing started because I wanted to try "cycle syncing" which basically just means that I wanted to try to live in sync with my body, trying to get my hormones healthy. 

I didn't really understand or realize the rabbit hole this journey would take me down, and yet I am so glad that I started it. Now, I am nowhere near perfect, and honestly, I probably will never be. I love sweet potato fries (specifically the ones form the Ranger Rider, a burger joint in my home town) and gel manicures and plastic lunch baggies, and I am not willing to give them up! Its all about balance though, right? 

So we start swapping our plastic containers for glass ones, using safe body care (no more bath and body works :( ) , ditching fluoride, and eating organic fruit.  I make my own butter and we even grow our own herbs and veggies (space permitting, our outside area is like 10 ft, max) My acne clears up, I start feeling better physically and mentally. I even gave up caffeine at the start of the year (not for lent!) and its changed my life, truly. 

But this really strange thing started to happen to me. I'm in a better mood, and that makes it easier for me to read my bible, and I start feeling more spiritually fed, and I start noticing other toxins in my life, toxins that feed into my life even more than the food I eat and the fact that I wrap my food with aluminum. 

I grew up desperate for friends. I 'd take any friend I could get. Girls that were mean to me, friends who never really cared, and as I got older, people that would use my kind heart and willingness to serve. I never turned a friend away because who knew when the next friend was going to come around. 

I don't know if its the fact that I am getting older, or maybe the fact that I am at a healthy place in my life, mentally and physically, but I started to look around and see that I knew a lot of people, but only a few of the people I knew really fed into me like I fed into them. One day I just opened my phone and started cutting people. It was so easy. People I had once felt obligated to be friends with on Facebook or follow on Instagram, I just unfollowed and unfriended. My husband was worried about me, I was going so fast. I took a following list of close to a thousand, down to two hundred in about thirty minutes. 

I realized that I truly have quality friends in my life, and I decided that I want to start investing more into them. I was actually out with said friends the other night and it was so fun, and I didn't feel any pressure to try to be anything. I looked around and realized that there were girls around me who were like the old me, and I felt so bad because they were surrounded by people who would want to be their friend, even if they weren't trying so hard to look cool. 

I'm also leaving my job at Sago. I'm leaving the coffee industry entirely. I am going to go teach preschool! My heart longs to be around little kids, doing my best to make a beautiful impact on their lives. Its a Christian pre-school and part of our focus is teaching and encouraging these kids in the word of God daily. This environment  will be so much healthier for me, mentally and physically (even if the kiddos I'm around are always sick) 

I totally recommend trying to cut out toxins. I know that I am really blessed to have a partner in life whom wants to invest in the things that are so important to me, and we have gone through this process slowly. I don't want to sound too crazy! I just know what's working for me, and my body and I have noticed a huge change. They say it takes about three months for your body to start responding to what you're doing, meaning if you start today, you will have a three month period of waiting, maybe only noticing small things, but maybe in three months you'll be bummed you're still struggling when you could be well on your way! 

I'm not a doctor and I'm not saying that this will fix anything, or all things for you. I'm just sharing my testimony and the peace its brought me. Feel free to reach out with any questions! 

Womens History Month

 One of my beloved regulars laughed at me a while back because I said that I had two full time jobs: being a barista and being a housewife. 

Now I understand that a few people might really disagree with this blog post but I'm just sharing the facts of my life and what I know to be the truth. 

Being a housewife IS a full-time job. 

There is no question about it. 

Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely in love with being a housewife and I hope that someday, I can turn it into my only full-time job. I love cultivating a life for my husband and I, but it's no "stay at home and relax" type situation. 

I meal plan for lunches and dinners and breakfast on the weekends. I compile grocery lists and take into account my husband's dietary needs (as well as my own). I grocery shop and meal prep and most my Sundays are spent in the kitchen, cooking, so Billy can have homemade gourmet lunches all through the week. I take pride in knowing that when he opens his lunch, all the guys on the aircraft go "mmmm that smells good!" 

I keep my home clean and tidy and find ways to make it more comfortable for us to live in. I take care of laundry and the vacuuming, and the mopping and I also have a small garden to tend to. I take care of our family's finances, making sure bills are paid and that we have a growing savings so we can make smart investments in the future. 

My days are all FULL! Even weekends there are dishes to do and food to be made and laundry to fold. I just live in 600 square feet! It's so sad to me to see women being so attacked in the media. 

"You're not doing enough if all you do is tend to your home." 

"Raising a family should be the last thing you think about." 

"You need to work more hours if you want to be anybody in this industry." 

The attacks go on and on, digging at all the things that we are called to be. 

Just in the last month, I've learned to make my own butter, bread, and learned how to make my own house cleaners.  

I don't understand how you can look at what I do and think "she's being forced, this is female oppression." 

I choose to have two jobs, and I love them both. I don't work because I have to. I could stay at home all day and brush my hair if I wanted to. I am free to do whatever I please. I hardly make money at the job I do now. I do it because I love it, and my husband is fine with that. I think it's incredible that I am so blessed to be a woman, and to be a woman in this time! I can wear whatever I want, I can vote, I can work outside the home, and I can own land and even my own truck and have it all under my own name! There are tons of scholarships available to me, just because I am a woman! I get special time off work for when I choose to have a child, and on that note, my body can do what no other body can do: I can create life. 

I have value that has nothing to do with how hard I work, how much money I earn, how sexy I can dress, or even what work I do in my home or for my husband. SO many women before me really did struggle. They couldn't vote, or own land, or have the ability to make the same money that men do.  That simply wasn't an option for us. We weren't even allowed to read. Now, I am building my own little library of books that I read for fun. 

I think it's incredible to be a woman. I feel so special and divine and feminine. Don't laugh at me for saying I have two jobs. Don't try to take value away from a woman because she chooses to work in the home. It's not easy! It is work, it's a full-time job, and someday I hope we own enough land that it can be my only job. You can bet your bottom dollar that, if given the chance, I'll be out in the fields wearing a pretty dress while I harvest the veggies I grew, petting the cows I helped raise, with my bare feet covered in mud. 

Now, this isn't to say that working a more corporate job or choosing a fuller workload outside the home isn't as honorable, and it's also not to say that I think men shouldn't help around the house! My husband helps me with household chores because I do take on a workload outside of the home. 

What I am saying is that it's not laughable. I know my regular didn't mean it in any other way than a silly scoff, but it's sad to me that that's even a reaction. 

So happy Womens History Month to the women who fought and struggled for our right to vote and be treated as more than dogs or slaves. 

What a year!

 Its the start of march and I'm already blown away at what a year it has been for me. 

I have spent so much time this year really just trying to learn as much as I can about my health and wellness. I've learned how to make my own butter, started growing the world's smallest garden, quit caffeine and sugar, and even started to learn how to make my own bread. I have also decided that this will be the year I become a Florida resident and enroll in a few college classes. There! I've said it. How crazy. I can't believe what a year it has been already. 

Last year I spent a lot of time healing from my past, opening up scars I didn't know were there and going back over them, so they heal properly. This year I have been working on healing my body! I could potentially get rid of my celiac by healing my gut. My acne has finally cleared up (first time since I was 13!!!) I'm turning 23 in a few days, and I just can't believe where I am at in life. 

You know, I promised my mom that I absolutely would not get married until after I turned 23. Now I'm on my second year of marriage. 

I guess I'm so amazed by the things I've accomplished because I spent so much of my life really believing that I couldn't do or be anything. I feel like I've really tapped into what God wants for my life, and what God says about me though. I've already gotten halfway through the bible this year (another goal I thought would take me way longer to accomplish) and I'm just relishing in being in His presence. 

I have picked up my laptop up a hundred times to write a blog about what I learned, or accomplished in the last few months but as soon as my fingers were on the kyes, I had no idea what to say or how to convey what I wanted to tell you. Maybe my thoughts today seem scattered and jumbled, but that's only because I myself, am sorting out my thoughts. One thing you need to know about my blog is that its a tool I use to reflect and really soak up life. Mostly my blog is just letters to me. Hopefully I look back on all my posts and smile, because I made it through the hard stuff, and I celebrated all the good. 

I think its really easy for me to get into a negative headspace because I spent a lot of time learning to be comfortable there, and its scarier for me to live in the good moments. I find myself holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for the next bad thing to happen. Scared to truly enjoy anything because I am bracing myself for what's next. Typically, I would be very nervous, wrecking all the good things because I am so scared of what's next. Maybe if nothing is ever really "That Good" nothing will ever really be "That Bad" either. 

But you know what? I'm really happy. I feel at peace. I love my little patio filled with random sized pots and I love the way my homemade butter tastes. Its actually really hard for me and I have to actively work at not ruining the good things in my life. 

2023

 2022 was a year of unexpected healing, and answers to questions I didn’t know I was asking. So many blessings came my way! Yet, I couldn’t help but watch with envy and longing as my friends achieved great things. They were starting businesses, having babies, traveling, graduating college… the list goes on.  I felt old. I felt like my youth was over and now I had to be an adult. I know that sounds crazy for some of you, but it was a real and true feeling for me! 

I work with a bunch of 23 year olds (give or take a few years either direction) and they were always going out and bar hopping, or going to silent disco and I was either not invited, or it was the one night that I had FRG. I watched my friends relish in youth while I planned events nobody came to and made over-priced avocado toast. I went down a route that was safe, and I was honestly happy doing it. I didn’t feel super fulfilled, but I almost felt like that was supposed to be how my life went. 

Of course, that’s not REALLY how my year looked, but we all know that feeling when we feel sorry for ourselves and m,Abe a little trapped or stuck, and all of a sudden everything is tinged with a gray. Like I said, it was a year of healing. I like to move a billion hours a minute so taking a year to heal and rest and just get settled into “military wife life” was necessary  like charging a phone! But I’m at 100% now and ready to roll. 

I forget that I can just do stuff. Like if I want to go back to college, I really actually can. I don’t have to wait for somebody else to workout with and feel strong again. I don’t even have to work at a job where I feel undervalued! I am allowed to do stuff. 

So 2023 is going to be MY year. I don’t exactly have a New Years resolution, but I do know who and where I want to be in a year and I’ve got a list of goals and a list of ways to reach each goal. 

I can’t remember the last time I felt this exhilarated. I feel like I am standing on top of this giant cliff and I know I am about to jump, and there are little challenge coins the whole way down labeled with all of my goals and I’ve got this giant breath in my lungs, full of burning anticipation, a little fear, and a whole lot of “holy shit I’m actually going to do this” 

There are so many things I have planned, one that’s pretty huge (for me, anyways) but I want to wait to share it until I know I can make it all a reality. I am so excited for 2023 and leaning into Gods plan for my life, listening to His guidance, and taking that huge jump off of that cliff. 

I’m headed to the gym right now (that’s part of one of my goals!) but have a great day, and STAY HYDRATED (that should be your goal too, you know who you are. Drink some water) <3 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!