What a year!

 Its the start of march and I'm already blown away at what a year it has been for me. 

I have spent so much time this year really just trying to learn as much as I can about my health and wellness. I've learned how to make my own butter, started growing the world's smallest garden, quit caffeine and sugar, and even started to learn how to make my own bread. I have also decided that this will be the year I become a Florida resident and enroll in a few college classes. There! I've said it. How crazy. I can't believe what a year it has been already. 

Last year I spent a lot of time healing from my past, opening up scars I didn't know were there and going back over them, so they heal properly. This year I have been working on healing my body! I could potentially get rid of my celiac by healing my gut. My acne has finally cleared up (first time since I was 13!!!) I'm turning 23 in a few days, and I just can't believe where I am at in life. 

You know, I promised my mom that I absolutely would not get married until after I turned 23. Now I'm on my second year of marriage. 

I guess I'm so amazed by the things I've accomplished because I spent so much of my life really believing that I couldn't do or be anything. I feel like I've really tapped into what God wants for my life, and what God says about me though. I've already gotten halfway through the bible this year (another goal I thought would take me way longer to accomplish) and I'm just relishing in being in His presence. 

I have picked up my laptop up a hundred times to write a blog about what I learned, or accomplished in the last few months but as soon as my fingers were on the kyes, I had no idea what to say or how to convey what I wanted to tell you. Maybe my thoughts today seem scattered and jumbled, but that's only because I myself, am sorting out my thoughts. One thing you need to know about my blog is that its a tool I use to reflect and really soak up life. Mostly my blog is just letters to me. Hopefully I look back on all my posts and smile, because I made it through the hard stuff, and I celebrated all the good. 

I think its really easy for me to get into a negative headspace because I spent a lot of time learning to be comfortable there, and its scarier for me to live in the good moments. I find myself holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for the next bad thing to happen. Scared to truly enjoy anything because I am bracing myself for what's next. Typically, I would be very nervous, wrecking all the good things because I am so scared of what's next. Maybe if nothing is ever really "That Good" nothing will ever really be "That Bad" either. 

But you know what? I'm really happy. I feel at peace. I love my little patio filled with random sized pots and I love the way my homemade butter tastes. Its actually really hard for me and I have to actively work at not ruining the good things in my life.