These Small Hours

Before school, there is a few minutes between class time and everybody arriving. Its the hours of the day when the light is just coming through the big windows, the happy laughter of little kids coming to school fills the air, and our classroom gets to play with babies.

I learn a lot in these few hours. The people in my world move so fast. Even in a slow town, the faces hold more stories than we are ever privileged enough to know. In these mornings, I love being quiet and just listening to the stories of the people around me.

There is a boy in my school who wants to be a fire fighter. I never knew this, and I wouldn't have guessed it. His older brothers are volunteer fire fighters, as was his father. He told me about how he loves the rush, the knowing that you are benefiting something thats a lot bigger than just him. He talked about how he was excited for the hard work, the heat of heavy equipment.  He went on to describe working with a few of the men in drills, and learning from his brother.

Another boy in my class is passionate about music. He writes raps, as well as makes sick beats. He sits at the back table and bangs out beats on the table, weaving stories into his words. His stories impact me a lot. they talk of finding value in family, turning away from materialistic pleasures, and connecting with himself as well as God.

A girl in my class takes care of her little sister. Its amazing to see the maturity and grace she lives each day with. She has to make sure they get to and from school each day, are dressed and fed. She is basically a second mom to her little sister.

Another kid in my class is struggling with social anxiety. They have a girlfriend, but struggle with trusting her because of things that have happened in the past. His parents are supportive, but his dad has never been the best dad. My friend used to struggle with heavy drug use and alcoholism.  Its a struggle for them to stay on their current path of recovery, but they push through it every single day. They have a love for music and drawing to express their emotion, and find beauty even in the struggle. He writes about his struggles. he weaves amazing pictures of his pain. Also, the pink hair is fabulous.

Another kid in my class has a passion for music, he uses music to vent. His story is not as loud as some of the other kids, but in my mornings of talking with him, I have found out he is a truly amazing character.  IN a corrupt world, he tries to bring light to everybody. He says "rip" maybe too often (haha) but the amount of care he has for his friend is translated in his fierce loyalty and ability of keeping secrets and supporting the people around him.

This girl in my class is an amazing cartoon artist (excuse me, that word does not justice.) Her drawings are amazing. she can make me smile and laugh. The people she draws are so real. I don't even know how she does it. Her true talent isn't seen enough, in my opinion. Her drawings are typically more happy, striving with each one to bring a smile to anthers face. She isn't really in love with herself. Its sad to see such a bright light dim itself because insecurities. Shes really funny. Her hair is naturally curly, and she never wears makeup. She has a deep sorrow placed in her heart, but her smile is brilliant, and she always makes others smile.

What I've told you is nothing compared to the way these kids express themselves. 

Every human is like a book. you know? we never get finished being written. Our lives are huge white canvases. We shoot them with paintball guns, sometimes ripping through the material, or splattering them with brushes, or dumping an entire can of paint.  Its a mess! the colors all run together and they don't make scene. The shades clash and  the brights are dulled by the darker tones. yet its a master piece. you cant see it, you're the artist. All you see is the chaos, but the rest of the world can see the beauty you're coaxing out of the blank space. 

I've learned a lot from all of these kids. I've learned true friendship, I've learned what resilience really looks like. I've learned that the world has little nests of good people, I've learned about over coming, bravery, maturity. My teachers have shown more dedication and drive than I've seen in a lot of people. I used to think that small things didn't really matter, but these kids have taught me that even sometimes just getting to school is an amazing way to impact the world. 

Sometimes i have to take a moment and remember that i am also making a masterpiece, and even when it feels like the colors aren't working, and the whole thing is a mess and i wish i could just start over, someone else is looking on and thinking "what an amazing piece of art" (at least, i hope anyways :-/ ) what are your colors? what does your canvas look like? 

who are you when you're done being everybody else?